How to date a Heart
Tell them constantly how freaking amazing, caring, and wanted they are. Go over-board with verbal validation. Make sure they know they are good enough as they are.
What makes them tick...
•Connection with people
•Being home and safe
•Talking to others
•Verbal validation and reassurance
•Being invited and included
•Being noticed and really seen
What to do...
•Spend lots of time asking questions and listening to their ideas and feelings
•Be okay with the fact that they are less motivated than you are. This is just how they are wired, and they will never be a highly driven perfectionist.
•Be patient with their low confidence. They are just not as sure of their place in the world and they more time finding a sense of identity and confidence in who they are.
•Help them to find hobbies, interests, or talents. Find areas where they can shine and build self-esteem
•Remind them always that we all have the same exact value and they cannot be not good enough.
Accept them as they are.
What not to do...
•Don’t expect them to be highly motivated or pop out of bed in the morning. They struggle to get going and always will, so you must allow them to be who they are.
•Don't expect them to keep a perfectly clean and organized house. They don’t value it enough to do it and they aren’t driven enough to do the work.
•Don’t criticize or judge them or make them feel unwanted or unloved. This will crush a heart.
•Don’t get bothered if they are needy for attention and time talking with you. This kind of connection means the world to them. They need it to feel safe in the world.
•Don’t get bothered if they are dressed in unattractive clothes that are comfortable. They value comfort over impressing others.
•Don’t have long drawn out fights or conversations that could feel unsafe. Hearts can’t handle that. They can only do conflict in short sessions.
•If you have to give them negative feedback, make sure you take time to validate all they do right first. They need lots of reassurance before they can handle negatives.