Ovals are amazing people who bring love, service, and giving to the world. They are easy-going, kind, and responsible and have so much to offer. They are reliable and caring people, who value their relationships highly and care about treating people right. Ovals highly value connection with kind people, gentleness, gratitude, peace, keeping the rules, principles and morals, and acts of service to people. Their magic lies in their easy-going nature and calm way of being. These are gifts that are often undervalued, but they shouldn’t be. They make Ovals easy to have relationships with and work with. It is a wonderful and amazing trait to be amicable, un-opinionated, and gentle. Many other Shapes would benefit from being a little more this way. Ovals don’t cause conflicts, stir the pot, offend people, or try to get attention. They are never annoying or obnoxious, and that is magic too.
It is important to understand their fears because they drive a great deal of their behavior. Ovals have a lot of fear of failure and fear of not being accepted or good enough. They also fear making mistakes and having people unhappy with them. When they feel these things are happening, they can get into an unbalanced fear state and retreat, get depressed, or anxious. They try hard to take care of everything and keep everyone happy.
They fear breaking rules and getting into trouble. They are usually the most obedient and subservient of all the Shapes, and they struggle to find their own sense of identity and create the life they want, because they focus to much on the happiness of others.
The most important thing to understand about an Oval is that they are most triggered by feeling criticized, not good enough, or in trouble. They need lots of validation and reassurance in their relationships to feel safe. They also need time to be places they feel comfortable and successful. They benefit from having some hobbies or interests where they can shine and use their unique gifts and talents.
Ovals overvalue concepts by overvaluing the rules and doing things right. They are highly obedient and don’t rock the boat. They find safety here. They will often dress conventionally and do everything they can to not stand out. They also like to learn things and gather new skills and knowledge. This is another way they value Concepts. They can be organized if they feel motivated, or unorganized if no one cares about it.
You already know how loving and supportive they are. They love to serve and want to be needed. They have a great need to belong and to contribute to the projects or causes of others. They will sometimes let their own needs fall by the wayside though, and they need to be reminded that their needs matter too.
Most Ovals are uncomfortable with leadership and being the center of attention. They don’t like the pressure and would rather play a role in the background. They don’t like heavy responsibility, so they function better as part of a team. They will lead if they must, but they happier being a follower. They can sometimes be taken advantage of, as they are too trusting. It is important they learn to have and enforce boundaries and make their own desires important. They need to learn how to say no and make sure their own needs get met.
Ovals are often overlooked or left out. They need you to remember to include them and invite them to things. They need you to create a safe space where they can voice their opinions and practice asking for what they want. Sometimes, they need reminding that it’s okay to have a different opinion. Encourage them to speak up and tell the group what they think or want. Make sure you create a safe place for them to speak and know they will be heard and not criticized.
Give Ovals a great deal of validation about how wonderful they are. Because they don’t demand attention, they often don’t get their needs met. They need to know they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to know they do a good job and do things right.
They can get depressed, discouraged, or anxious and overly panicked at their worst. They may pull back and shut down. Ovals, who are down need lots of reassurance and validation. They need understanding, caring and encouragement. Most people don’t have problems getting along with an oval because they are so amicable though. They are not likely to start fights, get upset or angry, or be demanding at all.
Don’t insist on being right all the time, Ovals are open to learning and are very teachable, but if you have ego and always insist on being right, this will turn them off. Don’t take advantage of their kind nature and appreciate them for their virtues, morals, and goodness.
Don’t be critical and judgmental of anyone. If you are critical and judgmental of other people, it will bother an Oval. They love people and won’t like you gossiping about them. Don’t be a know it all or too opinionated. Ovals won’t tell you they disagree, but they will be bothered by the behavior, and they are likely to just pull away from you.
Don’t have long fights or conversations. Ovals are short communicators, and they can only handle it in short doses. If you have long drawn out emotional, or upsetting conversations, it will exhaust them. Don’t be overly critical or talk down to them. Don’t treat them like a child or as less important than you.
Ovals are very easy to get along with. They are such people pleasers, if you are nice to them and think they are awesome they are happy. Try to create a safe place for them to speak up and share their opinions. You might have to tell them you really want to hear, what they really think, and encourage them to form some opinions. I encourage Oval teenagers to choose a side and argue it with me. They need to practice speaking their mind.
They need to have some successes and to be given opportunities to shine and discover their talents. It really helps an Oval to find something they are good at and be encouraged to achieve there. This will give them more confidence and self-worth. Help them find a hobby or interest.
These shapes are also fear of failure dominant, so they understand an Oval’s fears and are more likely to go easy on them and avoid conflict. Many of the fear of loss dominant Shapes would like a relationship with an Oval, because the Oval would always let them be right and have their way, but this wouldn’t be best for the Oval. Ovals do best with gentle people, who encourage and understand them, but will also take the lead. Circles and Arrows would do this. Ovals can make a relationship with any Shape work though if they both allow for the differences.
Ovals make great employees because they are good followers and want to please. They create no drama and are consistent, loyal, diligent, hard-working, and practical. They are organized and love following a process and instructions. They problem is they don’t always speak up and might tell you what you want to hear over the truth. They are hard on themselves, so be gentle with criticism and remember they find confrontation and leadership challenging. Always praise their efforts and give them lots of validation and reassurance they are doing well. They are usually loyal, long-term employees as they are likely to stay where they are comfortable for a long time.
Jobs that require empathy, compassion, caring, working with a team, following a system, and being dependable.
They are not good in positions where there is high pressure, stress, confrontation, or a need for decisiveness. They can lead, but don’t love it.
They need help to build their self-esteem and find their own sense of identity. They need to learn how to make their own safety and not be codependent. They need to work on seeing their value as the same as others and feeling worthy. They need to learn how to speak up, enforce boundaries and take care of themselves and their needs. They need to find their own purpose and understand that some rules should be broken and it’s okay to push the system a little.
They are usually thin people (though not always) and are probably quiet, but the nicest person in the room. They love to help and serve others, but they are often overlooked because they don’t attract or demand attention. They struggle with saying no or speaking their truth.